ballerina smile but your sex like art
by secretsecrettunnel
Summary: But it was sex and it was erotic and suddenly she wanted it. Katara's journey through sexual awakening.


**_ballerina smile but your sex like art_**

...

Katara was nine years old when she learned about the mechanics of sex.

It had been nearly a year since the men had left the Tribe to join the fight against the Fire Nation and the many pregnant wives left behind had started to go into labour one after the other. Katara had helped her Gran-Gran in a stunned silence through the first birthing experience, terrified by the screaming and the blood.

During the second she had chanced a glance towards the apex of Miki's thighs as she had brought her Gran another bowl of warm water. She hadn't been entirely sure what she was seeing but it had piqued her interest. Once baby Anana had been cleaned and placed snugly at Miki's breast Katara had followed her Gran-Gran from the hut and asked in a hushed tone where babies came from.

Kanna had looked at her granddaughter with a furrowed brow before wrapping an arm around her shoulder and guiding them into their own hut. Over a pot of strong tea (which made Katara cough and wrinkle her nose in distaste) the elderly woman had given the Waterbender an education in the facts of life. She was clinical about it, describing the First Blood of Womanhood, the breaking of the natural barrier and the unavoidable and inevitable condition of pregnancy.

"A family is an important part of a Water Tribe woman's life, there is no doubt about that," Kanna had wrapped up the conversation with this statement. "However you should live your own life first my little Waterbender. Do not get bogged with the responsibility of a child before you are ready."

...

She was fourteen the first time she sees the blood in her undergarments. They are in a forest at the edge of a Fire Nation town and she managed to fib her way into going to buy food on her own so she could get the supplies she desperately needed. Somehow Toph seemed to know that she needed discreetness and said nothing though Katara was sure her heart was beating out of her chest.

Aang had given her a strange look when she had declined his request to go Waterbending a few days after. She had almost opened her mouth to explain, to tell the boy that she was finally a woman but something had stopped her. Something had niggled at her brain and seemed to say _not yet_, _not now, he's not ready_. He had given her a sad look when she had said no, as though his heart had began to hurt from her words and Katara had tried to sooth the boy's feelings by offering to go foraging in the woods with him.

But one day, one day not far from now, he would be ready. But for what she wasn't yet sure.

...

At fifteen she felt the first tingling of desire running through her body and it made her uncomfortable. They had been kissing and she had to beat down the urge to rock against Aang's thigh where it was pressed, unintentionally, between her own. Katara had ripped her lips away from his and gasped, her head hitting the wall behind them with a thud as his tongue and teeth had ventured to her neck. It had been unexplored territory for both, the heavy breathing and thundering heart beats heightening their senses.

But he was so young. Aang was only thirteen and she was only fifteen and her Gran-Gran's words had flooded back to her. Katara had pushed him away, a firm hand on his bare chest where she could feel the evidence of his excitement pulsing, beating double time, beneath the warm skin.

"What's wrong?"

She had looked at him with scarlet flooding her cheeks when she noticed how dark his eyes had become, the pupils dilated with his own ill hidden desire. Her throat had felt tight when she tried to swallow and her breathing was still laboured. They were still standing so close, Aang's leg between her thighs with his knee resting on the wall and the flat of one hand pressed against the brick beside her shoulder.

"I..." She swallowed again, closing her eyes to shrink away from his intense gaze. "This is too fast. I like kissing you – I do – and I like being together."

"Okay..." Aang sounded confusion. Katara knew he would wait patiently for her to continue and she stalled until the last tendril of desire had disappeared from her belly.

"I love you a lot Aang. You know that, right?"

"Of course I do," His brow creased and he laced one of his hands with hers.

"I want to wait," Katara replied softly. "I don't want to stop kissing you, but I want to wait until we've lived a bit. Gone to all the places we want to go and done all the things we want to do." She could feel the heat of embarrassment run down her neck and chest and she wasn't sure if Aang had understood her if his silence was anything to do by. Her eyes were still closed as she pressed on. "I want to wait until we're married and we're ready to... you know."

"Oh," She felt the jolt go through him, the realisation of what she meant. Opening her eyes she saw the flush spreading across his face and felt as the grip on her hand went slack and understanding bloomed. Aang's own stare had fallen to the ground as he processed her words and for a moment she panicked. Was he ready now? Or maybe, just maybe, it had never crossed his mind? For Spirit's sake, he was a monk. Did monks even have thoughts about things like this?

"Sorry, I didn't – I shouldn't have said anything," Katara wrapped an arm around his waist and buried her face into the warmth of his shoulder, trying to hide from her own shame.

"No, it's not that, it's..." Aang's voice was strange – thick, lower than usual – and she could feel the spasmodic bobbing of his starting-to-show Adam's apple as he swallowed. "It's just nice to know that there's a later for us. That you think there's a future for us."

...

The market in the Outer Ring was no place for a seventeen year old girl on her own. Her dark brown cloak was pulled around all of her body and the hood drawn up over her hair to shadow her face from the prying eyes of the less than savoury men hawking their most likely illegal wares.

Katara was on a small recon mission, trying to find a certain AWOL General who was to be put to trial. Aang's arrows would have made him too conspicuous so she had volunteered to go in his place to see if they could find the man in the most recent place he had been sighted according to their intelligence.

Aang had been uneasy about the whole thing. He would rather he or Sokka venture that far into the black market but Katara had insisted. They had made a compromise and he was wrapped in a similar cloak, perched on the rooftops nearby, hidden by chimneys and smoke stacks.

She had kept her eyes peeled, her icy blue gaze flashing from face to face as she tried to show interest in the items in front of her without engaging any of the men. It was beginning to look very likely that they wouldn't find the infamous General in this grimy corner of the Lower Ring when her eyes fell on a scroll at the corner of one stall. Whoever had looked at it last had left it unfurled, the edges curling, but the image scrawled across it surface was in such a dark contrast to the parchment that it was easy for all to see.

Her stomach had dropped as she had stepped closer. It was crude and definitely not in proportion – there was no way anyone actually looked like that beneath their clothes. But it was sex and it was erotic and suddenly she wanted it.

She wanted to feel the heat of Aang's fingers against her skin and the soft pressure of his lips against her shoulders and neck. She wanted to feel his weight pressing her into a soft bed and the hardness of his manhood pushing into her.

The scroll depicted the grossly exaggerated male appendage being lavished with attention by the monstrously breasted woman and she couldn't believe that she wanted it – she wanted to do that for Aang, to know how he felt and to know how he tasted.

Her stomach had continued to squirm and twist, heat pooling low in her abdomen and she had rushed from the dark market to an even darker alley. The brick of the building she was slumped against was cold, even through the layers of her dress and cloak and she let out of a sigh of frustration.

Aang dropped from the roof to land in a crouch in front of her, the folds of his cloak and robes rustling as he stood. He was taller than her now and she had to tilt her head back to meet his concerned gaze. But by the Spirits he was so handsome and she couldn't get the images out of her head and she just wanted him so much.

Katara threw herself into his embrace, tucking her face into the notch above his collarbone and taking a shuddering breath to try and steady her resolve. The trickling heat of lust was still twisting in her belly but the consequences of any action weighed heavily on her shoulders.

...

By the time Katara was eighteen her brother and his wife already had three children with another on the way. Suki had given birth to their first son almost two years ago, with twin girls not quite a year later and was now nearly six months along.

Katara loved the babies and they loved her. She and Aang would frequently stop off wherever Sokka and his brood happened to be, whether it was the Water Tribe, Kyoshi Island or in the fledging United Republic and give their tired friends a break for a few hours or a couple of days.

And it was during the time spent with her nieces and nephew that Katara thought _one day. _One day she and Aang would have children and they would be a family. One day they would taste each other's flesh and through their love make a new life. It was always on the tip of her tongue as they cared for the children, watching him happily respond to Nilak's calls of 'Unca Aang' and wanting to tell him how wonderful he would be at being a father.

Then, once Rei and Aki were left in their care also, Katara started to think to herself _maybe two_ and _okay no more than four_ as she would watch Aang easily juggle the three babies' needs. The little tendrils of desire and want would flourish as she would watch him play and tell them stories.

But as much as she wanted him – and it was with much resignation that she would admit this to herself - they weren't ready to stop. They still had so much to do and so much to see, places to visit and lives to touch. _Not yet,_ she thought herself, _not until we've lived our own lives._

...

While in the Fire Nation Katara heard a lot of gossip. About her, about the Fire Lord and Lady, about Aang and about other local acquaintances. At nineteen she knew better than to believe everything she heard, especially when it was murmured under the breaths of Noble Women who had perhaps had more fruit wine than was appropriate.

But it was during one of the parties where the ladies showed little to no discretion that she heard a rumour. That one of the Admiral's daughters had been liaising with a stable boy. By the quirk of the eyebrow and the pull of the lips from the storyteller Katara figured that they were discussing illicit liaisons which were sexual in nature.

"Yes, I heard the same thing my dear Maki," One muttered in reply to her. "The Herbalist I use mentioned that the girl had been coming in and requesting preventative for her tea."

"Mmm, I do suppose a pregnancy would do nothing for her," Maki answered smugly. She laughed, a scornful sound escaping her painted lips. "At least the stupid girl is taking precautions and keeping her father's name clean on that front."

Katara had worked hard to keep her face neutral as she eavesdropped. They had piqued her interest – a preventative measure for pregnancy (that was not simply abstinence) definitely sounded like something she would be interested in.

She had considered it all before of course. How to prevent pregnancy. She knew that the pulling out method was not entirely reliable and to be honest she wasn't sure if she would be able to let Aang pull out of her body when he was that close to completion. Waterbending his contribution had also been something she had considered but she wasn't sure if it would work – was there even water in a man's emissions? Never mind the fact that there was the chance that she could severely harm herself if she wasn't careful.

But other methods – ones which apparently ran rampant and were easily available in the Fire Nation – interested her. How wonderful would it be? How wonderful would it be to be able to kiss Aang and to keep going? For their hands to continue past the barriers of undergarments and briefs before pulling them off? To not have to stop?

Aang was also so sweet about the whole thing, not complaining when one of them would pull away. He had confided in her that he was a monk after all and he had been prepared for a life of abstinence and enlightenment before he had found out he was the Avatar – before he had met her. But Katara knew that he wanted it as much as she did. The feeling of his hard length pressed against her was common when they kissed and sometimes he would just look at her, his eyes dark and his breathing heavy and she would know he was thinking about what she looked like naked.

...

She was unsure as to who to speak to regarding the preventative measures. Suki clearly had never heard of them if her four children were anything to go by and Toph could not be counted on for discretion.

It really only left one option. She would watch the Fire Lady carefully over dinner and on more than one occasion tried to begin a conversation with her about it in the parlour while they drank tea. But surrounded by their friends Katara found it difficult to spit out the words she needed to say.

"Would you like to join me in my private drawing room?"

She had been caught off guard by the sombre woman's words one day as she rose from the breakfast table. The Fire Lady had given her a pointed look before sweeping her robes to the side to rise gracefully, holding an arm out for the Waterbender to grasp. Katara nodded slowly, sparing a glance towards a confused looking Aang, before escorting Mai from the room.

At the door of her private quarters she shooed away her ladies-in-waiting, telling them to return at lunch time. Stepping into the room, Katara turned to regard Zuko's wife as she locked the door behind her. There was a moment of silence before Mai laughed, a low rasping noise that knocked the tension from Katara's shoulders.

"What do you want to know?" Mai asked as she composed herself and swept across the room to perch on a chair. She gestured towards one of its matching companions and Katara gratefully lowered herself into it.

"How did you-?"

"You're not as subtle as you think you are," Mai answered easily, one of her eyebrows arching. "To be honest, I think I know what you're going to ask me."

"Oh?"

"You're going to ask me about sex," Mai replied, sweeping her sleeve out of the way with practised ease as she poured a cup of tea. "You're going to ask me because you're desperate."

"I – well – I wouldn't-"

"Please. You can cut the sexual tension with a knife."

"It's not that," Katara's face was positively scarlet. She took the tea Mai offered but did not drink, worrying the fine china between her fingers. Looking up she met the Fire Lady's hard gaze. "I want to know about preventative measures one can take to avoid pregnancy."

"It is surely an act of treason to assume that the Fire Lord's wife knows about or uses such a thing," Mai replied with an even tone. "However it would not be an incorrect assumption." She laughed again.

Katara watched as Mai rose to her feet, the tea cup placed on the table with a gentle clinking sound. Her robes rustled around her feet as she walked over to an armoire and pulled one of the drawers open. A large hand bound book was in her grasp as she returned to sit with the Waterbender.

"This has been passed through generations of aristocratic Fire Nation women," Mai explained as she put the book on the table and slid it towards Katara. She carefully cracked the spine and opened the tome, taking in the compact lines of writing and the elaborate diagrams of herbs and spices. "Some of the methods are... less messy than others."

"But they work?"

Mai's eyes darted away from Katara's and a flush of pink spots high on her cheeks. Her fingertips rested low on her stomach for a moment before she met Katara's gaze again. "They work. But I have no use for them now."

"Oh," Katara replied, realisation slamming into her gut. She stood, closing the book and tucking it beneath one arm as she crossed the short space between then, bent at the waist and threw her free arm around the pale skinned woman. "Congratulations. And thank you for this."

She felt Mai tense under her touch before relaxing, pressing the sharp angles of her body against her.

...

It felt wonderful, his hands against the soft skin of her stomach.

It felt even better when she told him he didn't have to stop this time.


End file.
